doomsday cults

first off it's your decision to do this and no matter what anyone else thinks or says it's still going to be your decision. it scares the shit out of me, but nobody hates you for it. there are a lot of questions:
1. joining the military (especially right now) is pretty much a death sentence... if you really want to kill yourself i hear cutting your wrists is a lot quicker and less painful than getting blown to pieces by a mine.
2. dude, you're gay. no matter what policy of "don't ask, don't tell" they say they enforce truth is that you'll probably get routinely beat if they find out. and do you really want to play straight for 4+ years?
sure it may help with self esteem, and you'll get stories to tell for years... but there has to be safer ways to do that. ways that won't change who you are. and i hate to say it, but part of the reason mike and i don't talk anymore is because the military changed him, and we had less in common after he got out.
steve, we love you. no matter what you choose to do. but the military just seems so out of character. what if you loose you love of art? ok now i'm just trying to scare you... or am i?
so now that i'm starting to ramble i better sign off. befoe i start telling you what you should do.

p.s.

don't take the cutting wrist comment literally... i wasn't trying to give you any ideas.

Re: doomsday cults

We would worry about you constantly too. I mean it is called the service for a reason. You become a servant to the president and right now the one we've got doesn't seem to care about the amount of lives that have been lost due to his vendetta. If that is really what you want to do then do it but just know that I would honestly be really upset if you came back from that experience a totally different person. I happen to love the person/friend that you are now. Sure we could all benefit from an experience that would bring us out of our shells but risking your life and relationships is a lot to put on the line for that. But, hey you could have the time of your life too. There are just a lot of unknowns that come along with this kind of life decision and you know how afraid of the unknown I am.
Just know that as your friend you can count on me to support whatever decision you do make even if I don't like it very much.

Re: doomsday cults

well, the Air Force is actually the safest part of the armed services. Melanie talked to her friend Stephen for me who is currently in the AF and he says that since i already will have a BA i can go right into Officer's school and then decide where i want to go from there and killing and being killed aren't actually on my list so i can aviod that direction and maybe get a nice desk job or something in some none killing me country.

and if i become an officer and someone finds out i'm gay and tries to beat me up i can do evil officer things to them like court martial them. or whatever.

and i am an artist, i will always be an artist everything i do is just a pathway to get to my art. if i spend four years being a servant for "the man" its just so in the long run i can use the man to further my art.

also, I'm not Mike. I am nothing like Mike and will never be anything like Mike. So, the military changed Mike. Yeah, that was Mike...I'm Steve.

and finally, I am not going to do anything i'm not comfortable with. dying and killing people are things i'm not comfortable with. I won't sign anything or enlist or whatever until i'm 100% comfortable with my decision. As of right now i'm like 14% comfortable.

Re: doomsday cults

First of all, I want to say that joining the military is not a death sentence! Yes there is a couple wars going on now that we are involved in, but the number of troops surviving far outweighs the number of troops being killed. I know so many people here who are in the military, be it Air Force, National Guard, or Marines and none of them have been deployed so far. The one guy I know spent a month in Louisiana cleaning up after hurricane Katrina, so he was actually helping people, not killing them. Secondly, Mike was a Marine. The Marines are the ones who go through the most difficult and emotionally taxing training, they are the ones primarily responsible for attacking and killing people. You see a lot of stuff as a Marine than you do in other branches of the military. They are the first ones in and the last ones out because they are under complete control of the president. That is probably why Mike changed. Not to mention, Mike was enlisted. Like Steve said, he would have the option of entering into Officer Training School because he will have received his bachelors degree already. This means more power and more money! There are so many different fields he can go into in the Air Force, Stephen was listing them off to me. Plus, as long as he doesn't join the Security Forces, then he wouldn't be responsible for killing people. And of all the people I know who have joined the military, none of them have changed all that much. Sure they may have become less cocky, more respectful, and gained manners like not putting their elbows on the table when they eat, but is that such a bad thing? (Steve, I'm not saying that you need to learn any of those things, I was just using examples.) The person who they were deep down was still the same person. And I'm sorry to sound mean, but you all are making it seem like persons involved in the military are idiotic, stupid, puppets. I think that it is one of the most noblest and selfless things a person can do. Putting your own life on the line so that other people can enjoy the freedom that we have known our whole lives, wow that takes a pretty amazing person. So Steve, as you know, I will support you 100% if you choose to join. And I am always willing to talk to Stephen if you have anymore questions about the Air Force. (I know you were really interested in the Navy, but I'm not in regular contact with people from the Navy.) Stephen said, if you have anymore questions, don't hesitate to ask.

It's been long...

But remember, if you go into the Armed Forces with a bacholar's degree you are ahead in the game. I'm sure you were looking at information about that. But ultamately, it is what ever you feel you need to do for yourself.

My suggestion to you, if everyone else has you second guessing yourself, talk to someone who has done it. Talk to someone who is doing it now (ie: has a Bacholar's and is in there, or bacholars in your major and is or has been in there).

Steve,
I became an RA at York last year. When I got the job in the spring, privious, I realized that I was going to have to change a lot to be able to do this job (You remember how I was!).

Well, the summer before last year, I grew some balls. I had to be able to confront people I don't even know, and people I did know. I had to become more self-assured, and I tell you, that is the hardest thing I have ever had to do but yet, but I stand before you now, and I have grown in this manner. And it was hard at times, but it has been my best experience to date. But, I also lost "friends" along the way. People who had been manipulating me along the way. And I am a better person for letting them go.

So, my advice to you is:

#1 Get as much information about your exact situation as you can (ie: major/bachlors/what is expected)

#2 If you find someone who is gay and was in the armed forces talk to them, too. See how it was for them.

#3 Don't be afraid to change.

Even though I'm just in the background, I'm behind you in everything you do.

Love ya, Steve!
Love,
Liz

Re: It's been long...

thanks for the advice.

i wonder how i could find someone who was gay and in the military cause i don't think googling gay military will get me anything useful.

and i really hate the fact that me being gay is an issue in this decision...cause its not an issue in any other part of my life. stupid government.

good to hear from you, btw.

First reaction: Holy Fuck!

Re: "googling gay military", maybe you should try something like that. I think there are at least a couple of lesbians who got out of the military and wrote books... maybe some gay men did too.

Good luck w/ your research!

i found one actually. my sister goes to a Gay friendly church out in Clarksdale and she says there is a Army career lesbian who she is going to e-mail and ask if i may talk to about her experience.

Go with the Air Force. I'll need to know someone that can air raid zombies for me in the future.

Good luck.


My 2 cents.

?????

I don't hate you. I am a bit confused, but I can see the allure. Well let me know what happens.

Ok. Just read this and have caught up.

Don't even remotely hate you.
Just really surprised.

Oh, and
Don't Die.

not planing on it.

well, not for another 500 or so years that is. i plan to wait until i'm completely bored with living. i give it a couple centuries at least.